As a patriotic law abiding citizen, I have noticed that America is indeed the greatest country in the world. However, even the best government in the world has it’s flaws. I’ve noticed a few in my years of observation, such as invasion of privacy, abuse of power, crooked officials, unfair distribution of wealth, war crimes against the majority of the world, health care problems and, last but definitely not least the topic I wanted to address today, overpopulation. In other parts of the world, such as China, they have established laws that limit how many children each family can have. I for one don’t support this tactic in America, because the damn liberals would propose for abortion (AKA MURDER) to help keep the limit. I however propose a solution that will kill two birds with one stone; we should eliminate the homeless. It may sound a bit extreme and unethical at first, but trust me, by the end of this entry you will surely be at my side.
First off, while it is a little known fact, homeless men are the number one cause of pollution in America. When one is not able to properly bathe themselves for an extended period of time, they involuntarily produce a large amount of carbon monoxide vapors, and we all know how clean homeless people are. It’s been reported that if all homeless people in the nation were to suddenly disappear, the ozone layer would be able to heal itself within a matter of two weeks. [Source: The Onion] On a second note their disappearance would significantly improve the fashion in the country, as the rags they wear really lower our score on the J-14’s Most Stylish Countries entry of 2012 (we were ranked number three?!?!?!). I don’t know about you, but anyone who doesn’t see this as a state of emergency needs to get their priorities straight and realize that we are, indeed, deserving of the first spot.
In this current state of a fashion disaster, we need to eliminate the homeless. Don’t worry, I’m not implying genocide or killing any of these people, but we do need them out of America. Since they have no jobs or any place to live, they’re probably bored and/or doing whatever drugs they can get their hands on, so I propose we send them to the moon. There’s been constant complaints about how crowded the country is, so why not send the people that are taking up space into space?! They could be the first people to start a colony on the moon, and if successful we would be able to expand our country into territory that no one has claimed. And if this is successful, once the moon colony becomes overpopulated with homeless people, we could send them off to colonize on the sun.
The operation may be costly, and we may lose some men in the process, but I believe in the end this is the greatest choice for our nation. All we need to do is get that liberal anti-Christ Obama to give more funds to NASA, and our dream of a perfect nation can come true.