Everyone knows the typical Asian stereotype: smart nerd that excels at school and is good at playing musical instruments. What a lot of people fail to realize is that Asian children aren’t necessarily born as geniuses. They actually work hard for their achievements. However, their hard work is backed by the watchful eye of parents. Mothers who hoover over their children and push them to their absolute limits are known as Tiger Moms. Tiger moms are known to be extremely strict and harsh on their kids. Their idea is that tough love will earn better results than kindness or encouragement. The term Tiger Mom was first made known by Amy Chua who wrote a book called Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother which describes her experience when raising her two daughters. The children had to follow strict rules such as:
Here are some things my daughters, Sophia and Louisa, were never allowed to do:
• attend a sleepover
• have a playdate
• be in a school play
• complain about not being in a school play
• watch TV or play computer games
• choose their own extracurricular activities
• get any grade less than an A
• not be the No. 1 student in every subject except gym and drama
• play any instrument other than the piano or violin
• not play the piano or violin.
To read more about Amy and her method of parenting click here.
Rarely is there a sign of admiration or love shown in this method of parenting. When Americans found out about this, it caused a great amount of controversy. People became upset that such a harsh parenting technique was used on children. In Amy’s book she describes a scene where she had forced her seven year old child to practice a piano song without any water or bathroom break until she learned the piece. She practiced for hours and even had to practice through dinner. Stories like this don’t even faze me, sadly. Growing up in an Asian culture has taught me that Asian parents are willing to do anything in order to see their children succeed. The phrase “the ends justify the means” comes to mind. It’s not that parents don’t love their kids. It’s because many Asian parents have experienced or witnessed great poverty in their homeland. Most of the time, the only way to get out of poverty is to have a good job and the only way to get a good job is to have the best grades. Even though I understand the reasoning, doesn’t mean I agree with what is going on. I feel as if Tiger parents only cause a rift in parent-child relationships. Even if the child becomes successful, the parents may risk their relationship with their child.
NPR did a story on Amy Chua, so check it out if you want to hear her thoughts.
Amy’s response to the uproar her book caused:
So what do you think about Tiger Moms? Yes? No? Crazy?
